Back to School with Selective Mutism: How to Set the Stage for Success
I remember when my own daughter was struggling with selective mutism and getting ready to return to school. I was so worried about her. She hadn’t spoken at camp all summer, and I had no idea what the school year would bring. Part of me was hoping that maybe, somehow, she would just start magically talking to her new teacher. Part of me felt heartbroken, and honestly, a little embarrassed, that I didn’t understand why this was happening or how to help.
It was such a difficult time. I was scared to send her to school each day, knowing she wouldn’t be able to ask for help or tell anyone if something was wrong.
Looking back now, after going through that experience and becoming a specialist in treating selective mutism, I can tell you this: there is so much we can do to support our kids. Even small things, like having a teacher who understands the basics of selective mutism, can make a huge difference.
Below are a few things I’ve seen help many families ease the transition back to school and give kids a stronger start.
1. Revisit the School Environment
If possible, visit the school before the first day. Walk around together, play on the playground, or spend a few minutes in the classroom. The goal is to help your child feel comfortable in the space again. Use CDI skills to warm up if you’re familiar with them.
2. Meet Key Staff in Advance
Set up a short, relaxed visit with your child’s teacher, school counselor, or aide. This could be as simple as stopping by the classroom after school. Depending on where your child is in their journey, you might arrange a fade-in or simply have a quick introduction with no expectation to speak. Sometimes just seeing a few familiar faces ahead of time can make the first day feel a little easier.
3. Use the “All About Me” Sheet
I created a printable “All About Me” sheet that helps introduce your child to new teachers or school staff. It shares your child’s favorite things, how they are feeling, and what kind of support helps. It also explains selective mutism in a clear and gentle way.
Why it helps: It helps the school team know a bit about your child and gives a clear way to offer support from the start.
Download the “All About Me” sheet here.
4. Share Helpful Resources with the School
Many teachers have never worked with a student who has selective mutism, and that is completely okay. You can support them by sharing helpful tools. The Educator Toolkit from the Selective Mutism Association is a free, easy-to-follow guide full of practical strategies and tips.
Link to the SMA Educator Toolkit
5. Set Small and Achievable Goals
Start with what feels doable right now. Maybe your child answers a question from you while a classmate is nearby, or quietly lets the teacher know they need to use the bathroom. These small moments are meaningful and show real progress.
6. Prepare for Peer Questions
Sometimes classmates will ask, “Why doesn’t she talk?” Help the teacher respond with something like:
“She can talk, and she’s working on using her brave voice at school. The kindest thing we can do is be patient.”
7. Partner with the School Team
If your child has a 504 Plan or IEP, it is a good idea to review it before school starts. Make sure it still matches your child’s current needs. If this is all new, you can begin by talking with the school psychologist, counselor, or classroom teacher. Opening that line of communication early is an important step.
Every child’s journey with selective mutism looks different. Your support, preparation, and advocacy make a real difference. If you ever need more guidance, I am here to help.
